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Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Alberts interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. It wont be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west.
1882. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Alberts vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. Her "its not you, its me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin hot". Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louises hand. As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life.
Seth MacFarlane
Albert
Charlize Theron
Anna
Liam Neeson
Clinch
Amanda Seyfried
Louise
Giovanni Ribisi
Edward
Neil Patrick Harris
Foy
Sarah Silverman
Ruth
Christopher Hagen
George Stark
Wes Studi
Cochise
Matt Clark
Old Prospector
Evan Jones
Lewis
Aaron McPherson
Ben
Rex Linn
Sheriff
Brett Rickaby
Charlie Blanche
Alex Borstein
Millie
Ralph Garman
Dan
John Aylward
Pastor Wilson
Jay Patterson
Doctor Harper
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